Out of pitch

Hi What a week it has been. Tuesday for me is band night as I play base trombone for a local band. Now Tuesday was not my night and we were near the end of our 2 hour session and the conductor chose to play A Whiter Shade of Pale. This piece of music I love and the base trombone is rather prominent in the opening bars. I sounded dreadful, I just could not hit the pitch for the opening C which was held for four beats and then change to F for continuing four beats. I was off both and I could just not hit it. We put it down to my lips being tired, which they most likely were. The fact that I had missed quite a few practices and two engagements wouldn’t have helped. But I really felt bad about that. However I resolved to be at next band practice and hope he might choose that tune again. I have been playing for quite a few years so I like to think, well I was not the only one that night. Talk to you soon Alan

Car Keys

Car Keys Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen." There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. " You idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!" Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me." She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car." Yep it's the golden years. LOL

3 easiest ways for newbies to start affiliate marketing

With the aid of the Internet, you can almost have everything right at your fingertips. With just a few clicks you get access to thousands and even millions of pieces of information and data on virtually any field of interest. As years pass by, the Internet continuous to effect radical changes in many facets of human endeavors, including commerce. Experts say that the information space, commonly known as the “world wide web,” grows by over a million pages everyday as more and more people utilize the Internet for information, education, entertainment, business and other personal reasons. It doesn’t take a business-oriented individual to realize that this phenomenon can bring about sky-high financial gains. The Internet’s fast-growing popularity in the recent years is surely an opportunity for business that any entrepreneur would not want to miss. You might be thinking only businessmen can make much money out of the Internet, don’t you? Think again. You too can earn big bucks through the Internet even if you don’t have products to sell and high-profile and established company. How? That is through affiliate marketing. You might have come across these words over the net while surfing. Affiliate marketing is a revenue sharing between a merchant and an affiliate who gets paid for referring or promoting the merchants’ products and services. It is one of the burgeoning industries nowadays because it is proven to be cost-efficient and quantifiable means of attaining great profit both for the merchant and the affiliate and other players in the affiliate program, such as the affiliate network or affiliate solution provider. Affiliate marketing works effectively for the merchant and the affiliate. To the first, he gains opportunities to advertise his products to a larger market, which increases his chances to earn. The more affiliate websites or hard-working affiliates he gets, the more sales he can expect. By getting affiliates to market his products and services, he is saving himself time, effort and money in looking for possible markets and customers. When a client clicks on the link in the affiliate website, purchases the product, recommends it to others who look for the same item or buys it again, the merchant multiplies his chances of earning. On the other hand, the affiliate marketer benefits from each customer who clicks on the link in his website and who actually purchases the product or avails of the service provided by the merchant. In most cases, the affiliate gets commision per sale, which can be fixed percentage or fixed amount. If you want to be an affiliate marketer and make fortunes out of the Internet, you may follow the following three most basic and easiest ways to start an effective affiliate marketing program. First is to identify a particular thing you are interested in or passionate about so you won’t be bored and forced to develop your affiliate web site later on. Focusing on a specific area you know very well will help you bring out your best without much risks and effort. You can add a personal touch to your site and give your visitors who are possible buyers an impression that you are an expert in your field. In this way, you gain their trust and eventually encourage them to buy the products you endorse. Next is to look for good paying merchants and products or services related to your interest and create now a website. In choosing the products, you must also consider its conversion rate—the number of visitors-turned-buyers. There are various affiliate networks and affiliate solution providers that can give you info on the most profitable products and best paying merchants. The key here is, be wise enough to choose the right one. Now that you have decided where to concentrate, have chosen the products to endorse and the merchant you are supporting and have created your own web site with top level domain name and reliable hosting, you are ready to promote. This is a crucial task, since it is through this that you would be able to increase traffic to the business website, sales and of course, profit. In affiliate marketing, it is possible to earn large sums of money in a short span of time especially when you’re endorsing high-priced items. Expensive products are hard to sell; however, with the right marketing strategies and sales techniques, you can draw visitors to the merchant’s site and make them buy the products. How to promote the products, though, would need a separate discussion. Continue to educate yourself by reading books or other articles online about the best advertising techniques. Keep in mind, there is no facile and quick path towards success. Affiliate marketing may seem very tempting due to numerous encouraging testimonies of merchants and affiliate marketers alike who have benefited from it, but it entails great deal of hard work and persistence. Likewise, you need to be creative, flexible and willing to embrace new ideas to market your partners’ products until you find the perfect strategy that works for a specific market that you are targeting. Neither signing up for an affiliate program nor copying ads and leading others towards the merchants’ site doesn’t guarantee success yet. Many affiliate marketers fail to understand this, so when they don’t make sales, they quit, look for other programs and repeat the same mistake. In the end, they conclude that affiliate marketing is just one of those scams in the Internet. Even as you sleep, you can work your way to great financial success if you employ the right strategies in affiliate marketing. Be creative, be smart and surely, you’ll achieve your goals. My name is Alan Sowerby and I am a publisher, now and again in all the rubbish the guru`s are handing out I come across a top of the pile humdinger.Just watch the video you can find here, you can thank me later. http://www.urmarketer.com

Bus Driver

bus driver I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had near brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home. Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it

Health and wellbeing

“health and wellbeing” 7 Ways to Improve Your Health & Wellbeing Taking steps to improve your health and wellbeing will improve your quality of life dramatically. It’s never too late to improve your health and there are so many things you can implement into your lifestyle that will give you great results. 1. Meditate: Many people underestimate the benefits that regular meditation will have on their health and wellbeing. The benefits of regular meditation include reduced stress levels, better sleep, improved concentration and a general feeling of wellbeing. And medication isn’t has difficult as you might believe. There are many guided meditation CD’s and downloads available to enable you to experience the benefits of meditation immediately. 2. Avoid Fad Diets: Despite their popularity, fad diets are rarely beneficial to your health. They may enable you to lose weight temporarily but following a healthy balanced diet, and cutting out processed foods and junk foods is the best long term solution. 3. Sunlight: Getting out in the sunlight for at least 30 minutes a day is great for your health and wellbeing. Lack of sunlight can lead to depression, seasonal affective disorder and Vitamin D deficiency. If your lifestyle and the area that you live prevent you from getting a daily sunlight fix, consider investing in a light box. 4. Sleep: Getting enough sleep is essential to your health and well-being. The average male needs 7 hours of sleep each night, the average female needs 8 hours and teenagers and young children need far more. Lack of sleep can cause poor concentration, headaches, inability to concentrate, accidents and even death. 5. Exercise: Regular exercise is vital to your health and well-being. But you don’t need to join the gym, or take an aerobics class. Choosing an exercise program that you enjoy is more important than anything. And a daily 20 minute walk is just as good for you as any other form of exercise. 6. Listen to Music: Recent studies by scientists in Canada and Mexico have shown that listening to music you enjoy improves your health and wellbeing. This is because it increases your levels of dopamine – commonly known as the happy hormone. The studies showed that rock, classical, and jazz music had the greatest effect. 7. Lose Weight: If you’re overweight, or obese you are putting your health at risk. Being overweight can lead to diseases like heart disease, diabetes and certain types of cancer. And according to the World Health Organisation, almost 3 million people die each year as a result of being overweight. Whichever methods you choose to incorporate into your lifestyle to improve your health and well being, you will be glad that you did. Not only will you improve the quality of your life, you may also live longer.

RSS Guide

Provide Internet users with a free (or cheap) and easy advertising or online marketing opportunity for their businesses. Below are some of the RSS features that can help make your internet marketing strategies more effective. 1. Ease in content distribution services. With RSS, your business can be captured and displayed by virtually any external site, giving you an easy way to 'spread out' and advertise them. 2. Ease in regular content updates. With RSS, web contents concerning your business can now be automaticallyA GUIDE ON RSS TOOL RSS is an abbreviation that has evolved into the following, depending on their versions: • RDF Site Summary (also known as RSS 0.9; the first version of RSS) • Rich Site Summary (also known as RSS 0.91; a prototype) • Really Simple Syndication (also known as RSS 2.0) Today, RSS stands for 'Really Simple Syndication', and it has the following 7 existing formats or versions: • 0.90 • 0.91 • 0.92 • 0.93 • 0.94 • 1.0 • 2.0 RSS tools refer to a group of file formats that are designed to share headlines and other web content (this may be a summary or simply 1 to 2 lines of the article), links to the full versions of the content (the full article or post), and even file attachments such as multimedia files. All of these data is delivered in the form of an XML file (XML stands for eXtensible Markup Language), which has the following common names: • RSS feed • Webfeed • RSS stream • RSS channel They are typically shown on web pages as an orange rectangle that usually has the letters XML or RSS in it. RSS feeds can be used to deliver any kind of information. Some of these 'feeds' include: • Blogs feed - each blog entry is summarized as a feed item. This makes blog posts easier to scan, enabling 'visitors' to zoom in on their items of interest. • Article feed - this alerts readers whenever there are new articles and web contents available. • Forum feed - this allows users to receive forum posts and latest discussion topics. • Schedule feed - this allows users (such as schools, clubs, and other organizations) to broadcast events and announce schedule changes or meeting agendas. • Discounts or Special feed - this is used to enable users (such as retail and online stores) to 'deliver' latest specials and discounted offers. • Ego or News Monitoring - this enables users to receive 'filtered' headlines or news that are based on a specific phrase or keyword. • Industry-specific feed - used by technical professionals in order to market, promote, or communicate with current (and prospective) customers and clients within their specific industries. RSS feeds enable people to track numerous blogs and news sources at the same time. To produce an RSS feed, all you need is the content or the article that you want to publicize and a validated RSS text file. Once your text file is registered at various aggregators (or 'news readers'), any external site can then capture and display your RSS feed, automatically updating them whenever you update your RSS file. RSS tools are useful for sites that add or modify their contents on a regular basis. They are especially used for 'web syndication' or activities that involve regular updates and/or publications, such as the following: • News websites - as used by major news organizations such as Reuters, CNN, and the BBC. • Marketing • Bug reports • Personal weblogs There are many benefits to using RSS feeds. Aside from being a great supplemental communication method that streamlines the communication needs of various sectors, RSS tools and feeds can also have tremendous benefits in your business, particularly in the field of internet marketing. RSS tools and feeds p updated on a daily (and even hourly) basis. Internet users will be able to experience 'real time' updates as information in your own file (such as new products and other business-related releases) is changed and modified simultaneously with that of the RSS feeds that people are subscribed to. 3. Custom-made content services. With RSS, visitors can have personalized content services, allowing them total control of the flow and type of information that they receive. Depending on their interests and needs, visitors can subscribe to only those contents that they are looking for (such as real estate or job listings). 4. Increase in (and targeted) traffic. With RSS, traffic will be directed to your site as readers of your content summary (or 1 to 2 lines of your article) who find them interesting are 'forced' to click on a link back to your site. These are just several of the many things that you can do with RSS. The possibilities are endless, and they are all aimed at providing you with an effective internet marketing strategy for your business. Talking about business a friend of mine just told me about a fantastically easy business start up @ http://urmarketer.com

drink and drive

I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had near brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home. Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it

health mall

Welcome to the healthy living mall. It is important to remember that no one cares more about your health than you do. The healthy living mall provides you with the tools and knowledge you need to improve all areas of your health. Whether you’re looking to lose weight, get fit, or learn how to treat a specific problem this site has got you covered. This site also covers many types of health from conventional treatments as well as natural health and alternative medicine. This puts you in control and allows you to make unbiased informed decisions about your health. In this mall you will see that it is broken down into several different categories. This will allow you to better navigate the site and more easily find what you are looking for. So go ahead look around and find the health information you need. Also, please be sure to bookmark this site. As we are continually adding to this site with the newest and most up to date health information find out a LOT more try .But forget your health for a moment A friend of mine rang me ,quite excited because he had suddebly found at long last a an online method of earning big money, quickly. he recommended http://urmarketer.com you can thank me later.

square

Square Testicles This is a joke that is supposed to bring you luck. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?' The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.' The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?' 'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.' 'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure. 'The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Canada !' The origin of this Canadian story is unknown but it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent. Whoever breaks the chain would definitely be unlucky. Do not keep this letter. And do not send money. Just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck. Something good will happen to you in the next four days. If the chain is not broken, you will have good luck during the four days.Even if all you do is make someone laugh, send it on! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * If you send this page to more than 5 people, you will have good luck for the next 5 years in addition to the luck you will have within the next 4 days.

A letter from an Irish mum.

from Home ----- Letter from an Irish Mother to her Son! Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle. Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial! Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire. I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling. I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times. We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday.. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. Your loving Mum. P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.

memories?

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favourite 'fast food' when you were growing up?' 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.'Except for Fish & Chip shops and we ate it all so unhygenically from newspaper wrappers' 'All the other food was slow.' 'C'mon, seriously.. Where did you eat?' 'It was a place called 'home,' I explained. 'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.' By this time, the lad was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I'd figured his system could have handled it: Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore jeans, never set foot on a golf course, never travelled out of the country and credit cards had not been invented. My parents never drove me to school. I had my mothers bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until the Queens Coronation. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 10 pm, after playing the national anthem and epilogue; it came back on the air at about 4 p.m. and there was usually locally produced news and everything was live.....or film. I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line. Pizzas were not delivered to our home... But milk was, and the bread. All newspapers were delivered by paperboys --Many of us delivered newspaper's, seven days a week, and had to get up at 6AM every morning. Film stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the films. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence (except cowboy films) or almost anything offensive. If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it? MEMORIES from a friend: My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it... I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old. How many do you remember? Headlight dip-switches on the floor of the car. Ignition switches on the dashboard. ;There were two postal deliveries per day. Trouser leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. The street lights were turned off at about 11pm each night.Soldering irons you heated on a gas burner. Using hand signals for cars without turn indicators. Corona fizzy drinks were delivered in glass bottles by lorry each week, and the empties returned. .> Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember, not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom. 1. Sweet cigarettes 2. Coffee shops with juke boxes 3. Home milk delivery in glass bottles 4. Party lines on the telephone 5. Newsreels before the film 6. TV test card patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again. (There were only 2 channels [if you were fortunate]) 7. Peashooters 8. 78 rpm records 9. 45 RPM records 10. Hi-fi's 11. Potato spud guns 12. Blue flashbulbs 13. Cork popguns 14. Wash tub wringers If you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older If you remembered 7-10 = Don't tell your age If you remembered 11-14 = You're positively ancient! I must be 'positively ancient' but those memories are some of the best parts of my life. Don't forget to pass this along!! Especially to all your really OLD friends....I just did!!!!!!!!! (PS. I used a large type face so you could read it easily) JPWMTemplat

Help, I am drowning under a selfish snowball attack.

Hello fellow bloggers. I am feeling quite lousy. I am sneezing and coughing. My nose is so very sore ai can hardly bear to touch it. My gums are so tender it is almost impossible to chew my food, so I go without food which of course e rediculous as I am a diabetic. I have earache so I plug my ears with cotton wool, then wonder why I can`t hear what people are saying on the phone. I shout at them to speak up. Have you heard all this blurge before. Well I get this every year about this time, throughout the rest of the year I feel great. Thanks for listening, any hints or tips will be greatly appreciated It was the only thing I could think of. Just annoy someone else. Lousy Eh? You could send me a pack of tissues, unused of course. Be well.Al.

Very interesting

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a Substitute for Blood plasma. *************************************************************************** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait... **************************************************************************** Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass ) ************************************************************************ You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ************************************************************************** Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. **************************************************************************** The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. ************************************************************************* The King of Hearts is the only king without a MOUSTACHE *************************************************************************** American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. ************************************************************************** Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?) (That women are going the 'right' direction...?) ********************************************************************* Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. ******************************************************************** Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN! ************************************************************************ The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first 'Marlboro Man'. *************************************************************************** Walt Disney was afraid of MICE! ************************************************************************** PEARLS DISSOLVE in VINEGAR ! ********************************************************************* The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola ,and Budweiser, in that order. ********************************************************************** It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs. ************************************************************************ A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. ************************************************************************ Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!) *************************************************** And the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that, don't YOU?)

Very interesting

VERY INTERESTING...... In 1919,when the flu killed 40 million people, there was this Doctor that visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it, and many died. The doctor came upon this one farmer, and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different, the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then). The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy. Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ. She said that several years ago many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop. To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work.... Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and we never got the flu. Now there is a P. S. to this.... I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on health issues. She replied with this most interesting experience about onions: Thanks for the reminder. I don't know about the farmers story.... But, I do know that I contacted pneumonia and needless to say I was very ill... I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion put it into an empty jar.....placing the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs.... Sure enough it happened just like that.... The onion was a mess, and I began to feel better. Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties. This is the other note. Lots of times when we have stomach problems we don't know what to blame. Maybe it's the onions that are to blame. Onions absorb bacteria is the reason they are so good at preventing us from getting colds and flu's and is the very reason we shouldn't eat an onion that has been sitting for a time after it has been cut open! LEFT OVER ONIONS ARE POISONOUS I had the wonderful privilege of touring Mullins Food Products, Makers of Mayonnaise.. Mullins is huge, and is owned by 11 brothers and sisters in the Mullins family. My friend, Jeanne, is the CEO. Questions about food poisoning came up, and I wanted to share what I learned from a chemist. The guy who gave us our tour is named Ed. He's one of the brothers Ed is a chemistry expert and is involved in developing most of the sauce formula. He's even developed sauce formula for McDonald's. Keep in mind that Ed is a food chemistry whiz. During the tour, someone asked if we really needed to worry about mayonnaise. People are always worried that mayonnaise will spoil. Ed's answer will surprise you. Ed said that all commercially- made Mayo is completely safe. "It doesn't even have to be refrigerated. No harm in refrigerating it, but it's not really necessary." He explained that the pH in mayonnaise is set at a point that bacteria could not survive in that environment. He then talked about the quaint essential picnic, with the bowl of potato salad sitting on the table and how everyone blames the mayonnaise when someone gets sick. Ed says that when food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials look for is when the 'victim' last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato salad?). Ed says it's not the mayonnaise (as long as it's not homemade Mayo) that spoils in the outdoors. It's probably the Onions, and if not the onions, it's the POTATOES. He explained, onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked onions. You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion.. He says it's not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your refrigerator. It's already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit, that it can be a danger to you (and doubly watch out for those onions you put in your hotdogs at the baseball park!) Ed says if you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you you'll probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put on your sandwich, you're asking for trouble. Both the onions and the moist potato in a potato salad, will attract and grow bacteria faster than any commercial mayonnaise will even begin to break down. Also, dogs should never eat onions. Their stomachs cannot metabolize onions. Please remember it is dangerous to cut an onion and try to use it to cook the next day, it becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates toxic bacteria which may cause adverse stomach infections because of excess bile secretions and even food poisoning. Please pass this on…

Lighten up and have a laugh.

Memories An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' ====================================================================== Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember… Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure..' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?'

Weight Loss- a family affair

Weight loss - a family affair - Kingwood By: Debbie Dodd Losing weight and eating right seem to be the topics of conversation as we begin the new year. We all know that a healthy diet is essential for both physical and mental well-being and development, especially for children. In order to help children make good decisions about healthy eating, dietary guidelines were established. Yet, statistics show that one out of five children in the United States is overweight, and the Houston and surrounding area statistics are even more alarming. All parents wants to spare their child (children) the consequences of being overweight. Overweight children are often teased, have a pool self-image and are at risk for future health problems such as diabetes and heart disease. Unfortunately, most parents have no idea how to help or where to begin. Even talking about such a sensitive subject is difficult. Failed attempts often make problems worse, either with additional weight gain or an even more serious problem such as eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia. Dieting isn�t any more effective for children as it is for adults. Instead of dieting, doctors and nutritionists often recommend strategies to help children outgrow their extra weight while building lifelong, healthy attitudes about what to eat and how to keep moving. In their book, �Helping Your Child Lose Weight The Healthy Way: A Family Approach to Weight Control,� Judith Levine, R.D., M.S., and Linda Bine offer practical steps that can be easily adapted to fit any family�s lifestyle. Parents will learn how to identify the specific factors contributing to their child�s weight problem and the dangers that exist in putting their child on an adult diet plan. The book also helps parents create a nutritious, low-fat eating plan that encourages healthy snacking, and it provides information on how to increase the child�s interest in physical activity by making it fun and non-competitive. The authors also recommend several dos and don�ts when communicating with your children and offers a dozen fat-lowering strategies just for kids, which are listed below: • Don�ts: 1. Never lecture, manipulate or reprimand. 2. Don�t be judgmental, criticize, nag or threaten. Don�t push them. This process will take time. 3. Try to have the answers to their questions. • Fat-lowering strategies: 1. Some high-fat, yet nutritious foods, like peanut butter, are fine. Just balance them with low-fat foods. 2. Hot cocoa is a low-fat chocolate treat. 3. Pretzels or light microwave popcorn are good, crunchy substitutes for potato chips. 4. Use low-fat margarine and mayonnaise when the taste is acceptable. 5. Non-cream soup is a good way to get a swerving of vegetables without a lot of fat. 6. Use low-fat cooking techniques, such as oven-baked as opposed to deep fat frying. 7. Use ground turkey breast in recipes instead of ground beef. 8. Substitute frozen yogurt for ice cream. 9. You don�t have to eliminate hamburgers, just make them using the leanest ground beef. 10. �Mixing� helping lower the fat. For example, mix ground turkey breast with ground beef when you make meatloaf. 11. Offer high-fat treats sparingly during the week. 12. Never go too low with fat if it compromised good nutrition. The above information is an excerpt from: �Helping Your Child Lose Weight the Healthy Way: A Family approach to Weight Control� by Judith Levine, R.D., M.S., and Linda Bine. Parents beware. A certain amount of caution is necessary. Never start your child on any type of nutrition or exercise program without first consulting your pediatrician, family doctor or registered dietician. Communication and patience are your keys to success. Happy New Year, and until next month, happy parenting. Article by: Debbie Dodd

A few tips,a few laughs

Weight Loss After Pregnancy If you've just had a baby, here's how to regain your figure. • Wait at least 4 weeks until your body has fully recovered. Eat as healthily as you can. • Meantime, learn about nutrition and devise a gradual exercise plan. • Then follow a low-fat HEALTHY diet - about 1500 daily calories. • If you're breast-feeding don't eat less than 1800 daily calories. • Be patient, let nature take it's course and you'll regain your previous figure in no more than 5-6 months. A little longer if you're breast-feeding. Then you can find out who the father is. Whoops! Just kidding. (Honest) ====================================================================== You Need Incentives to Lose Weight!! Because dieting can be a pain in the butt, we women need as many incentives as possible. e.g. fur coat, diamond necklace... If you can persuade Mr. Man to cough up the odd diamond all well and good. If not, you need to generate a few incentives by yourself. A good start is to measure yourself all over. Measure your bust, waist, hips, thighs and upper arms. Make a note of these super-secret statistics, lock them in your safe, then have a stiff drink. (You'll probably need one) Then, each fortnight or month, re-measure yourself. Each ½ inch lost will do wonders for your motivation. ====================================================================== Fat Thighs, Fat Butt Fact 80% of women aged 25-50, think their thighs and butt are too big Fiction You can reduce the fat on your thighs by eating certain foods More fiction You can reduce the fat on your thighs by doing certain exercises Even more fiction There's a quick way of reducing fat on your thighs or butt. The truth The only way to reduce fat on your thighs or butt, is: 1. Follow a calorie-controlled diet (preferably a low fat diet) 2. Take regular exercise. (aerobic and weight/strength training) 3. Be patient 4. Be nice to cats ===================================================== Stop Feeling Guilty!! GUILT! For a woman, it's a lifelong companion. Our husbands make us feel guilty Our kids make us feel guilty Our moms make us feel guilty Our mothers-in-law make us feel guilty Just about everyone makes us feel guilty about SOMETHING. No wonder we reach for the cookies. No wonder we forget about ourselves. No wonder we get fat. Take a new approach Say No to guilt. Say Yes to losing weight. How? By pretending you're not perfect. Because the ONLY thing that makes us feel guilty is the idea that we must be perfect. Think about it.